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Jan. 14th, 2008

  • 6:57 PM
sunshine by sboardman711

Every time, I know that getting my hopes up only makes me upset...

Somehow, though, it's happened again...

Can I truly enjoy the only vacation I've ever picked for myself?


Who knows...?

Oh, this is ridiculous. Why do I feel so awful about going to Japan? Yes, it does prevent the family reunion for my grandfather's eightieth birthday (well, 80th by Chinese years). But no one would dream of reproaching me, mainly using the logic "but you were the one who proposed your trip first". Somehow, I hoped it would make me happy...

But I'm sure those of you who know me well know, or could guess, that I'm always, always hiding guilt at being the one who got "the most". But when I do sacrifice... Oh, I'm so bitter about it.

I suppose the happy medium would be agreement. Compromise is impossible for things like this, so we'll have to settle for agreement - if it could be possible. But, no, it's always yielding (usually by me, though not without a fuss that spoils everyone else's fun).

I'll just imagine seeing Koharu in real life at last, even if only from a distance, and let that comfort me, if nothing else can.

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Comments

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[info]anepotter wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 09:02 am (UTC)
random, but...
do you want to share rings with me?
♥

I love you... *hugs*
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
like couple rings~?
*dies of happiness*
of course~
♥

actually, rian and i have talking about a lot of random ideas along those lines for no reason (her suggestion: tattoos. i think it was a joke. mine: those little matching necklaces/bracelets), so it isn't actually random... -_-;

i love you too~
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[info]anepotter wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
yay ♥
dunno how the hell we'll make that, tho, lol.

&& that's kind of creepy~~

*hug*
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 09:24 pm (UTC)
one of us buys them and mails one~? though a ring wouldn't fit into an envelope, so i'd have to go to a post office to mail it... either we wait until i turn seventeen + can drive (+ and sneak out!) in 2009, or you'll have to do it. xD i'll send you a necklace!
i would wear it every day~! ♥
this idea makes me so happy! *giggle*

it's fate~ what can i say?

*snuggle*~!
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
...actually, now that i think about it... i think i could mail packages.
...
...
it would involve major sneaking around...
...as we're technically not supposed to leave school until four if we stay after... (well, i suppose it's that we're not allowed to come back if we leave...)
...
and i would have to walk past the illegal mexican people looking for work all by myself.
...
...

shut up, these things scare me. >.>
actually, i just don't want to go into town by myself. =.=
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[info]anepotter wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
I'll see what I can do.
♥.
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 17th, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
oh, thank you thank you thank you~!
jed~ ♥
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[info]chuchama wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
and this is why ane's the favorite y/y?
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:37 am (UTC)
WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS

*SULK*
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[info]chuchama wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
AM LIAR MAYBE. OR MAYBE THERE IS NO FAVORITE?

*secretly spoils you*
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:50 am (UTC)
*THROWS CHILDISH FIT*

me favorite!

*pout*
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[info]chuchama wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
NO I WAS NOT JOKING, WE SHOULD GET TATTOOS DESPITE MY INTENSE FEAR OF NEEDLES. REALLY.
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[info]raiknii wrote:
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
WTF I'M EVEN MORE SCARED OF THEM THEN YOU PROBABLY ARE
EWWWWWWWW TATTOOS

...PLUS MY MOM WOULD NEVER LET ME. SHE WON'T EVEN LET ME BLEACH MY HAIR DDDD:
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